Silken Moon Beams
by Monochrome Factor
Summary: Twilight, exactly, but Bella love's Carlisle. How will Carlisle handle the love of broken teenage Bella?
1. Where did Bella go?

_Story featuring excerpts from Twilight, but changed to have Bella in love with Carlisle. Bella is broken over Carlisle 's absence like New Moon. How will Carlisle handle a teenager who's in love with him?_

Blue Moon

It was in there, sitting in that lunchroom, trying to make conversation with seven curious strangers, that I first saw them. They were sitting in the corner of the cafeteria, as far away from where I sat as possible in the long room. There were five of them. They weren't talking, and they weren't eating. Though they each had a tray of untouched food in front of them. They weren't gawking at me, like the rest of the people here, so it was okay to stare at them without meeting excessively interested pair of eyes. But it was none of these things that caught and held my attention.

They didn't look anything alike. Of the three boys, one was big - muscled like a serious weight lifter, with dark, curly hair. Another was taller, leaner, but still muscular and honey blond. The last was lanky, less bulky, with untidy bronze-coloured hair. He was more boyish than the others who looked like they could be in college or teachers here rather than students. The girls were opposites. The tall one was statuesque. She had a beautiful figure. The kind you saw on the cover of the _sports illustrated _swimsuit issue, the kind that every girl around her immediately took a hit to their self esteem merely by being in the same room with her. Her hair was golden, waving to the middle of her back. The short one was pixie like, thin in the extreme with small features. Her hair was a deep black, cropped short and pointing in every direction.

And yet, they were exactly alike. Every one of them was a chalky pale, the palest of all the students living in this sunless town. Paler than me, the albino. They all had very dark eyes despite the hair tones. They all had dark shadows under those eyes – purplish bruise-like shadows. As if they were recovering from a sleepless night, or a broken nose. But all there features were perfectly straight and angular.

But all this isn't why I couldn't look away. Something had changed that moment.

I felt something stop inside me, and I knew that nothing would be the _same _again. Still however important this part of me felt – I couldn't pin-point the exact thing. I thought I might have been shocked by their beauty... at first. But something had just changed. And from that moment on – I knew that there was nothing I could do. Nothing that would matter to me as much as it did before. I didn't want these feelings to continue, at all.

But I knew I was doomed to think this. Couldn't help but_ feel_ , that, with each passing moment, I was slipping away. The Bella that I knew was slipping away. Where did that Bella go?

I tried to push the thoughts to the back of my head. I didn't want to think about it – there was nothing I could do. At the moment. It was probably nothing. But. That didn't mean the thoughts wouldn't crop up when they could.

Something was very wrong. I had never felt this way. This is the first time, and, it had something to do with them.

.... I was going to try to look away.

But I couldn't.

I stared because their beautiful faces, so different, so the same were all devastatingly unfulfilled, troubled even. It was hard to see who was the most troubled, the pixie-like girl or the bronze-haired boy.

They were all looking away from each other and the other students. Their faces worried and confused. Something was different about them – empty.

"Who are they?" I asked a girl from my Spanish class, whose name I had forgotten. She looked up to see who I meant - though already knowing from the amazed tone. Suddenly he looked at her, the thinner, more boyish one, the youngest perhaps. He looked at my neighbor for just a fraction of a second and then his dark eyes flickered to mine. In that moment, lost in his dark eyes, did I feel that thing really leave me.

My back stiffened slowly into an arch, my breath came out in a savage sounding hiss and I clenched my hands into fists.

"that's Edward and Emmet Cullen, and Rosalie and Jasper Hale. The one who left was Alice Cullen; they all live together with Dr Cullen and his wife".

I stared, feeling my tension choke the crowded room. How dare they steal from me. What did these people have to do with the way I was feeling? I shook my head.

I considered the similarities. "Which ones are the Cullen's?" I asked, "they don't look related..."

"Oh, they're not. Dr. Cullen Is really young. In his twenties or early thirties. They're all adopted."

"That's really kind of nice, taking all care of all those kids, when there so young and everything"

I turned the unpopular names over in my head. Something was missing – from a picture that felt a lot bigger. I could feel it.


	2. Watching the Cullen's

**Chapter 2 – Watching the Cullen's  
**

**The first Biology lesson  
**

In Biology there was unfortunately only one seat free, right next to Edward Cullen. He sat with his chair, the furthest the desk would allow, away from me. I sat down. I added this to the already weird qualities of the Cullen and Hale family. He had something against me._ How could they do this to me? _What did _I _do to them?

I peeked up at him, and regretted it. He was glaring down at me again, his black eyes full of revulsion.

**Biology next day**

I didn't know whether I was ready to face Edward Cullen knowing he hated me. I held my breath at the door, but Edward Cullen wasn't there. I stiffened so painfully. It must have looked as if I had just suffered from a back spasm, people stared. Someone in the front row asked me if I was okay.

Thoughts rushed through my head.

Even though, I know he had something to do with this, I couldn't help but feel concerned with how he wasn't there. _Did he hate me that much?_ _Is he hurt? What were they doing to me? _ I felt it all over again, now that he was missing. It reminded me of what I was missing from myself. Without Edward there, was worse, for me. The pain became more prominent. Where did I go? What was happening to me? What was happening to the world around me. My fingers tightened on my arm as I tried to fight the loneliness that I had been feeling too long.

I'm loosing part of myself, and I don't know how dominant that part might be, but I had already lost hope for that part, ever since I had met the Cullen's. I plan to confront them and demand to know why they did this to me. Then maybe I'll find myself again. I've never felt so alone, so selfless, I don't know where I am any more.

**Dinner that night**

We ate in silence for a few minutes . It wasn't uncomfortable. Neither of us were bothered by the quiet. It was like we were suited to live together.

"So how did you like school? have you made any friends?"

"well I have a few classes with a girl named Jessica. I sit with her friends at lunch. And there's a boy named Mike, who's very friendly. Every one seems nice." Charlie told me about the Newtons before I got to the main question, that has been eating at me. "Do you know the Cullen family?" I asked the only way I knew how, without seeming too interested. "Dr Cullen's family? Sure. Dr. Cullen is a great man"

I wondered who caught Charlie's attention like that, my dad wasn't so hard to move, but...

The more I knew about the Cullen's the more I could find out what I was loosing. Why I felt this way. "they . . . the kids . . . are a little... They don't seem to fit in very well at this school". Charlie surprised me even more by looking angry. I wondered where the conversation was headed... "People in this town" he muttered, "Dr Cullen is a brilliant surgeon, who could probably work anywhere in the world, make ten times the salary he gets here" he continued getting louder.

I know that everything said can be useful to me - but I don't know why we're going on about doctor Cullen, I haven't met him. _Maybe there's more to the picture. _

"We're lucky to have him – lucky that his wife wanted to live in a small town. He's an asset to the community, and all of those kids that moved in are well behaved and polite. I had my doubts, when they first moved in, with all those adopted teenagers. I thought we might have some problems with them. But there all mature – I haven't had one speck of trouble from any of them. That's more than I can say for the folks who have been living in this town for generations. And they stick together the way a family should – camping trips every other weekend... just because they're new comers, people have to talk"

Charlie must feel strongly about the Cullens. Me falling apart seemed to have nothing to do with the happy family. Something was still wrong- and it had to be them. I want my other piece back.

I said something about the Cullens looks. Charlie replied that Dr Cullen _on top_ of being a family man, great doctor was also good looking - to the point of him causing concentration issues with his colleagues.

They all had the perfect image, too good to be true, what possibly could they be hiding?

This must mean he's some kind of a workaholic or control freak. I rolled it over it my mind. The word Cullen frequently lolled about in my head, disrupted my calculus classes with the feeling of a missing piece and the only solution ... Cullen. One Cullen. Edward? Whatever it was... The problem wasn't going, because I _wasn't_ just missing the heat of Pheonix or Renee. It was the Cullen's... They have disrupted my life. I demand to know what my problem is and I know the answer lies with the _perfect _Cullens.


	3. Fits of Laughter

**Edward Cullen is back at school. **

"hello? Bella? What do you want?"

I told them that I'd have a soda.

"Actually I feel a little sick." My stomach was churning, the fear that had accumulated from thinking of reminding myself what I had lost, the loneliness at home, the empty life - all because of the Cullen's I was afraid to face.

I'd been thinking about the Cullens too much and worrying about why Edward wasn't at school... at the same time I wished he would die and his spell on me would perish with him.

I had thought numerous times of asking Charlie did he know where the Cullens lived - and arriving with soup for ill Edward. I don't know when I'll feel whole again, so hopefully he's either dead (with his spell) or... back at school.

I want to know whether Edward is OK now but I was too sick with fear to ask the rest of the Cullens. I realized it got worse when I worried about Edward and loosing myself_. _When I did that - not only was I lonely but I was so worried and depressed. Mike asked me how I was feeling twice... anxious. I wondered whether I should play it out and skip bio.

_shit! _I realized Edward is here - looking over at his table.

If the Cullens were staring at me, then I would skip biology like the coward I was ( I just don't want to experience any more pain - _I've had ENOUGH_). I examined Edward, who was not glaring at me, but laughing with his family. He held his hand up to his lips in an futile attempt to conceal the rumbling laughter. The blond girl wasn't laughing, she was urgently trying to persuade the other giggling members of the table that it was a serious matter. She seemed to be the one being mocked, but I know better. I zoomed in on Edward who looked different – the skin shades livelier and the bags under his eyes were less noticeable. Edward Cullen looked at me. I shoved my head down and shook. His butterscotch eyes were humorous and so alive as he was chuckling at me.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you" Jessica giggled in my ear.

"he's not laughing is he?" I couldn't help asking - still looking down.

"yes, why should he be?"

I shrugged.

"I can't believe it, the Cullen's don't notice any body enough to like them. How closely do you know the Cullen's?" Mike interrupted us with plans for a snowball fight – luckily.

***************************************

**Biology**

"Hello" Edward said with a humorous undertone. I looked up, he was holding back giggles. He composed his features, a smooth mask took over. "My name is Edward Cullen, I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan"

My head was spinning. How could he be perfectly polite! He laughed at me all lunchtime. At my pain... at what!?

Thoughts zoomed and sped through my head and the part of me was lingering close, like an offer dangling in the air. With that part, lingering. I was so lonely. It was crushed down on me like all the other biology lessons near Edward. I wrapped my arms around my ribs and my head lolled forward for a moment in absolute agony and desire for _someone... to love... to love me_ .

I gained my composure before thinking of a smooth way to bring up the subject of exposing his families secrets. "who are you? I hear your fathers' like a doctor or something?" That's all I could manage slowly with the headache that he was giving me.

"My father's a doctor in town" Edward managed somewhat awkwardly, then he smiled, a smile pulled his facial features high for a second, and his eyes fell into a humorous haze of golden laughter. "Have you met - "

"Did you get contacts?" I blurted out unthinkingly. He smiled again and this time convulsions of laughter rippled through his shoulders. He stopped them, still smiling and then tried to stop smiling. "No" he managed through the effort to conceal his laughter.

"what's so funny?".

He chuckled.

"It's the fluorescence".

"I believe you" I mumbled in a scratchy tone.

"Are you okay Bella?" Edward's face got a little closer to mine and his eyes went hard. It shocked me.

" Why are you laughing at me?" I said in a muffled tone.

Edward looked away, shocked, and then sighed "we need to get this work done". He began working away as I tried to pull myself together, tried to tell myself every piece of me was mine and Edward couldn't have it. I glared at him pointedly, he didn't seem to notice, but he smiled. "So...Why did you move here Bella?"

"It's ... complicated"

"I think I can keep up"

I wondered why I caught his attention and what did they do to me. But I couldn't ever say that right, it would come out all wrong. Answered normally. "My mother got remarried"

"That doesn't sound so complex. When did it happen?"

"Last September"

"and you don't like him"

Edward continued asking questions and brooding over my unhappiness in Forks, all the while I was figuring out ways I could blackmail the Cullens into handing over their voodoo doll or something. There was something wrong about the Cullens. I thought of the most insane options first like kidnap. I wouldn't want to face the big guy. Prank calls, stuff like that.

"You put on a good show. But I bet your hurting more than anyone else can see"

I smiled sourly. He laughed outright this time. I thought of tying the little dark haired girl in the back of my truck and calling up the hospital for Dr. Cullen. Edward laughed some more, dragging it out as I scowled at him. "Why are you so unhappy? Did you leave behind a boyfriend? What are you missing?"

_HE KNOW'S! YOU ASSHOLE! The piece that your family are stealing_ I thought.

He tried to keep a straight face as I gave him the sour lemon look. I said that I'd never had any of those experiences. He laughed again. I was just about to lose it when the bell rang. Edward was the first out his seat, I heard his laugh float behind him. A frown seemed permanently creased my forehead and anger was hot on my back. What was _so_ funny, that he laughed at _my pain_ the whole lesson?

********************************

I looked around me to make sure it was clear. Edward and his family were staring at me, big smiles on their faces, all but the blond girl, I wondered what their problem was. I thought of going over there and asking what they were laughing at. I drew up my courage but the silver Volvo's quiet engine rumbled and and sped off through the car park.

***********************

Carlisle's POV:

"Hello everybody" Esme walked up to me and placed her smooth cheek against mine. She was containing smiles today. The bags and the colour of her eyes seemed brighter. She suddenly acquired a little more seriousness with slightly dipped brows."Carlisle. You should go upstairs – there is much to talk about"

I heard the breathing of my family in one small area upstairs.

"Carlisle" Esme tilted her head to the side and lifted the corners of her mouth slightly with awkward feelings, "Alice had a vision". She returned to stare a little uneasily.

"Is something wrong? Esme?" Esme blinked and smiled a tight lipped smile.

"Alice saw a girl with a crush on you Carlisle. But, I'm worried about her. She's... not like other girls. I think you should get Edward to tell you about her, that way – we could – deal with her feelings in a more - manageable way. From what I hear, she's very - different"

I blinked, I knew a couple of patients and associates at the hospital looked at me in a romantic way, but not a romantic interest they thought worthy of, considering they thought I was happily married.

"Someone called Bella. She sounds really pretty"

I ascended the stairs to where I heard whispers and laughs flowering from under Alice's closed door that had only started when the sound of my footstep filled the house. I knocked and opened the door. Edward stood responsibly. "Carlisle" he greeted me troubled.

"Nobody needs to worry. Her interests will fade in time" I sighed at my frowning family, all besides good-natured Emmett. I realized it may present more of a problem than it had appeared, "I don't think this is something I need to worry about... I suppose if there is a family meeting required, then maybe it is a serious... matter?" Alice sighed and started half-way through.

"What she's planning to do... Carlisle... She could spread something nasty about us. She hasn't thought of anything she would be capable of though - At the moment... I didn't think a teenager could make trouble for us either... but from my vision - she had chief Swan twisted round her little finger - and he looked _angry _at_ us_"

"She thought of kidnapping Alice" Rosalie said sourly, I knew Rosalie had more trouble coping when it came to humans – and all they have that was unwillingly taken from her. Something immediately occurred to me and I frowned lightly. "could somebody please tell me... from the start"

"She's... a teenager, 17 – in my class. Her name is Bella Swan... She has some very confusing ideas in her head from, no reasonable source. She thinks we did _something_ to her" Edward said gravely. I felt pity for this girl immediately. _what we could have done to this girl? What is wrong with her? _She is not the only girl who has had been pained by vampires. Maybe her instincts are a little stronger than the normal flight response.

"Maybe you should go and welcome her to Forks Carlisle" Alice suggested, smiling mischievously.

"Dad, her father is chief Swan. And from what Alice saw- she's going to create some trouble for us. She will end up on our doorstep... with an angry policeman"

"What did you see besides them arriving?Was there any clue as to what she did to create trouble?"

Alice shook her head and Edward smiled abruptly and I knew Esme was going to make a pitying monologue for the girl. She had all the right, but I don't need this. As always:

Esme walked into the room with a smug smile on her face and sat next to Edward. "Edward says Bella seems to be thinking we've stolen something from her.... She's blaming us for her loneliness, Carlisle. So – maybe we can help her, when she does create trouble" Esme said with a serious and pitying tone.

"Maybe, this could be good for you. Some new compassion besides the hospital" Edward tried softly and slowly.

I did not think I had to be told this so softly. It had not occurred to me that my family worried about a lack of love in my life.

"I'm married, she will give up afterwards and move on, the teenage heart is quick" I pressed reassuringly, "How does Alice know she's attracted to me if we haven't met?"

"The look in her eyes Carlisle. She looked really _lonely_" I sighed and took this story into account.

I don't need something like this to happen. She was a poor teenager and it was only destined for heart break. She was young. Lonely teens will choose the next man, it doesn't have to be someone their age, just someone they admire when they're confused.

"What does she think we've _stolen_?" I asked out of curiosity.

"She feels something's different whever she's around us, but it seems to be a feeling of importance, she's not sure what it is. She knows that it's to do with us and thinks we're using vodoo dolls or something". I nodded. "voodoo dolls" Emmett sniggered. It seemed a teenager crossing paths with vampires was inevitable at the moment. "I hope we can trust her instincts to guide her away from us". Alice giggled and looked up pointedly "Hey Carlisle, she's really pretty".


	4. Love in a Hospital Wing

Bella's POV:

I was standing near the back corner of my truck, struggling to control the urge to hold my chest when the Cullen's were so near. The more I thought about the more I realized, I wanted to stand beside them. I always dismissed this thought from the very beginning but I was swiftly becoming used to the idea that I wanted to be near people that I hardly knew. And it hurt, physically.

Suddenly, I heard an odd sound. It was a high-pitched screeching sound, and it was becoming painfully loud. I looked up, startled.

I saw several things simultaneously. Nothing was moving in slow motion, like it does in the movies. Instead, the adrenaline rush seemed to make my brain work faster, and I was able to to absorb in clear detail several things at once.

The Cullens were standing 4 cars down from me, staring at me in horror. Their faces stood out from the sea of faces, in the same mask of shock. But of more immediate importance was the blue van that was skidding, tires locked and squealing against the brakes, spinning wildly across the ice of the parking lot. I t was going to hit the back of my truck and I was standing in between them. I didn't even have time to close my before I heard the shattering crunch of the van folding around the truck bed, something hit me, hard, but not from the direction I was expecting. My head cracked against the icy blacktop, and I felt something cold pinning me to the ground. I was lying on the pavement behind the tan car I'd parked next to. But I didn't have the chance of noticing anything else because the van was still coming. It had curled gratingly around the end of the truck and, still spinning and sliding, was about to collide with me again. A low oath made me aware that someone was with me, and the voice was impossible not to recognize. 2 long white hands shot out protectively in front of me, the van shuddered a foot from my face, the large hands fitting providentially into a deep dent in the side of the vans his hands were so fast they blurred. One was suddenly gripping under the body of the van and something held me protectively against his chest, my legs swinging like a rag doll's.A groaning metallic thud hurt my ears and the van settled, glass plopping, onto the asphalt – exactly where, a second ago, my legs had just been. It was absolutely silent for one long moment before the screaming began. In the abrupt bedlam, I could hear more than one person screaming my name. But more clearly than all the yelling, I could hear Edward Cullen's frantic voice in my ear.

"Bella, are you okay?"

****************************************

My heart thumped and fluttered abnormally in the ER. I was wondering whether the shock was kicking now. I was startled as the doors opened. A young blond man entered the room. My heart stopped for a few confusing moments. My nose was filled with a comfortable scent that was like sitting in a deep lounge with a book beside a crackling fire. My mouth had dropped and – that was good – because I could taste the delicious scent of warm comfort drizzled also with a fresh forestry scent.

There was a fluttering excitement in my stomach and an odd beeping sound, ruining the moment with all this sensual stimulus. The movie star ran to the monitor "Bella". He was a chalky pale with lilac bags under his eyes – although, he still looked perfect.

Something was wrong, the feeling in my stomach worsened and the blood was pulsing through every part of me. I looked at the monitor and realized I wasn't breathing, I took in a shaky breath.

"Bella!" Charlie yelled, eyes wide, " Are you OK?" Charlie urged. I nodded. I regained relatively normal breathing as I examined the blond man standing over me with an oddly sad face, his stance was strong and solemn. His amber eyes were pregnant with pity and deep concern. He seemed to realize he was staring as much as I was, He shook his head, slightly. "Isabella, I am doctor Carlisle Cullen".

My mouth fell. "you!" I said in a loud whisper. I shook my head. Charlie was looking between me and Carlisle and double-backed several times as stared into my eyes without noticing. I was suddenly angry. Charlie coughed. Carlisle looked at charlie. "Chief Swan" Carlisle nodded at him. Charlie eyed him suspiciously. Carlisle took absolutely no notice of that... He stared back at me. He looked at a file he had attached to a clipboard, quickly.

"Miss Swan. How are you feeling?" said in an amazingly appealing voice. I stuttered, opening and closing my mouth.... Not thinking of what I was meant to say. "I – I'm fine" I said blinking several times... trying to shake away the stupor and scents fogging my mind. He took in every feature of my face now, I could feel a cold burn where his eyes probed my face. He stumbled over to the light board above my head and turned it on, glancing at me several times as I settled into the pillow. I closed my eyes and tried to rid myself of the stupor and fuzzy feeling in my stomach. He was so beautiful. I took me a while to realize that he was still there, in my eyelids... I thought that I had failed to shut my eyes. I opened them, he was staring at me with compassion. He shook his head for the second time. "your x-rays look good. Does your head hurt? Edward said you hit it pretty hard" gave me the full force of his caring eyes, I made a slow audible gasp.

"It's fine " I said weakly. His slender chalky fingers probed my head softly, I gasped. My skin burned where he had just touched. A cold burn. It was like his fingers had left a swollen mark on my skin. My skin felt like a ripe plum where he had touched my skin and the burn hurt for a couple of seconds, It was like a poisonous drug. I wanted him to touch me again, instantly. My skin ached with the lust of Dr. Cullen's skin.

I closed my eyes for a second and reopened them after gaining a hold on a natural teens thinking. I don't want to make anybody suspicious.

"Tender?" Dr Cullen asked. I was about to nod, my skin still having a weird reaction. I realized.

"not really" There was nothing I had ever wanted more than that doctors touch.

"Bella, you can go home now, but if you have any trouble seeing or get dizzy, please come back" Dr. Cullen said. "Can't I go back to school?" I asked, imagining the attempt to concentrate with the Cullens mocking me.

"actually, most of the school seems to be in the waiting room" Dr Cullen said in a relieved tone.

"Oh no" I moaned. Dr Cullen stared wincing.

"do you want to stay?"

"No, No!" I insisted as I threw my legs over the side of the bed and hopped down quickly. Too quickly, my legs buckled and I fell. Dr Cullen caught me, his strong, hard, burning arms held me around my stomach and the other twisted around and held my legs. I saw the absolution in his eyes, he was going to suggest keeping me hospitalized overnight. "I'm fine" I assured the doctor. I had a hunch that my general clumsiness could land me an accusation session with Dr Cullen easily.

"take some Tylenol for the pain" the doctor suggested, amber eyes blazing with compassion.

"It doesn't hurt that bad" I was more worried about the puffy full flesh that felt arisen.

"It sounds like you were extremely lucky" Dr Cullen said, smiling. I shook my head, shaking the irrational sexy doctor thoughts out of my head. "lucky Edward happened to be standing next to me" I said giving a pointedly hard glance at Dr Cullen. "oh, well, yes" Dr Cullen agreed suddenly being occupied with the paperwork in front of him. Then he looked over at Tyler and proceeded to investigate his wounds. This proved it, Edward's father was in on the cruel joke. I walked over to Dr Cullen, ignoring Charlie for one risky moment. Dr Cullen noticed me and looked wearily over at my determined set face. He acquired a sad puppy dog face, my jaw fell, I snapped it shut. "could I talk to you for a minute?"

"your father is waiting for you" - He wasn't getting away from this.

"OK" he said reluctantly.

Dr Cullen had walked me to a small hallway. He turned to face me and gripped my shoulders softly, in an attempt to soften my defiant glare. "What is it Bella?" he asked, his appealing voice soft.

"Your family owe me an explanation"

The doctor stared, he rubbed my shoulders gently, clearly over-concerned.

"Edward was no where near me, not even Tyler saw Edward, he saved me"

"Bella, you hit your head - "

"The van would have crushed me and Edward. Edward's not hurt at all. He left dents in the side of the cars".

"you think Edward stopped the van from hitting you?"

"I'm not going to tell anybody" I stuttered, "if you tell me what your family were laughing at."

"why does it matter how Edward saved you?"

"It matters to me...Tell me why I'm lying for you and your family?"

"I can't"

I stared at his glorious excessively concerned puppy dog face. Dr Cullen still rubbed my shoulder in that attentative manner. As I stared it became apparent to me that I was with a Cullen and I didn't feel so alone, I felt complete. A part of me was long gone now – I was apart of the Cullens. I knew from the moment I had met them that I had would never be the same again. But I didn't feel the part I was missing now. It was long gone.

The hole I had from seeing the Cullens disappeared like it had never been there at all. I don't feel lonely, desperate. "Carlisle" I whispered, "please tell me". Dr Cullen stared back at me with a tortured expression. He shook his head. "I have to go" he said softly. He walked back to help Tyler. Dr Cullen left me there aching to touch him again and aching for the inclusion of their secret.

*******************************************

That was the first time I'd ever felt relieved to get in the land cruiser. We drove in silence. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts about the Cullens secret that I had forgotten Charlie was there. I thought over and over about the caring way Carlisle acted in the hall. I wasn't sure if it could count it as a connection to the way I felt when Carlisle wasn't with me, or what the Cullen's were always laughing about. I was consumed by the mysteries the Cullens presented. And more than a little obsessed over Carlisle and his actions.

That was the first night I dreamt of Dr Carlisle Cullen.


	5. Annoying Interludes

In my dream it was dark and lonely. Carlisle was there in the distance - a bright light radiated from his skin. I ran after him, calling to him. He called my name constantly in a soft and urgent tone. He seemed to be in pain. His calls became more urgent as he sunk onto his knees with sickening grimaces. His calls for me became strained - he winced, hunched over on the forest floor. I was filled with overwhelming urge to save him - to be near him - to hold him - to be the softest touch he had ever had. But thick vines shot from trees and wrapped themselves around me - until I collapsed calling his name. The last thing I saw was he getting up - clutching his chest and wincing off into the bush.

Why didn't he help me?

He just walked off - while I was writhing on the floor.

*****

To my dismay, the following week was difficult, and, more importantly the hole that had disappeared - had torn in me, again. Tyler Crowley was impossible, he followed me every where. I had hardly anytime to think, and watch the Cullen's when we had a crowded lunch table. Although the Cullen's sat not eating, laughing amongst themselves and glancing over at me occasionally with humorous eyes. Especially Alice, Emmett and Edward Cullen. The Hales - didn't so much.

When he sat next to me in class, he only smirked at me occasionally and kept his fists in tight balls, as far away from me in the table as possible (as usual). I wanted very much to talk to him – but I couldn't.

I was too angry.

I was too confused – in the way I felt – I couldn't even hope to open my mouth.

* * *

Edward was there, every day in biology. I glared at him, sometimes, unable to get over the fact that he and his preciously respected family had done this to me. Had ripped this hole in my chest. Had confused and bewitched my heart to obsess over them.

I glared at him, always from a distance. Watching his eyes grow noticeably darker day-by-day. I tried not to draw attention to myself when I glared at them, but I took it easy on myself, because the pain was worse when I was so far away from the Cullen's. Why are they torturing me? I wanted to see Carlisle again. Have my happy fix.

* * *

Mike and Jessica had been scaring me lately. They didn't sit so close any more. Mike asked me to the prom in biology. Edward turned his head glaring at Mike. I glanced at him. He had pleading with the look in his eyes. When he shook his head, confiding his opposition with Mike's date proposal - I knew - this had to be Carlisle.

"I think you should go with Jessica".

"Did you already ask someone?"

"No, I'm not going to the dance at all. I am going to Seattle that Saturday"

"can't you go some other weekend?"

"sorry, no. So, you shouldn't make Jess wait any longer – it's rude".

"yeah you're right"

Edward was staring at me sourly, with an edge of curiosity and frustration. I stared back at him, expecting him to laugh. Instead he continued to stare at me with the same curious black eyes.

"Mr. Cullen" the teacher called, seeking an answer to a question that I hadn't heard.

"The Krebs Cycle" Edward answered, seeming reluctant as he turned to look at Mr. Banner. As soon as his eyes released me, trying to find my place. Cowardly as ever, I shifted my hair over my right shoulder to hide my face. I felt the longing I had for the very some one who tortured me. Carlisle! This was beyond what I could withstand. I could not believe what the Cullen's did to me. It was pathetic. More than pathetic, it was unhealthy.

I suffered in silence holding my stomach, trying not to think about Carlisle.

_too late._

"Bella?"

I turned slowly, unwillingly. I didn't want to feel what I felt around the Cullens. Or even worse alone. That missing part of the picture - The beautiful Cullen leader.... Carlisle. A sense of hate washed over me - but in the same wash - an instant calming, and instant longing.

"If your going to laugh at me - I really don't need it and .... .... You have something better to do with your time than laugh at me - right?"

His lips twitched fighting a smile. "no, not really" he admitted. I closed my eyes and tried to get the pain of loneliness out of my head. "then what do you want Edward? Either than to constantly make my life miserable?"

He looked a little shocked. Then pitying. Then wistful.

"I'm sorry" - He sounded sincere, "I'm being very rude, I know. But it's better that way, really". His face was serious. "I don't know what you mean"

"It's best if we don't get close, I'm not allowed"

"What do you mean, Edward?"

"I'm not supposed to be friends with you Bella"

* * *

"sorry Tyler, I really am going out of town"

"That's cool. We still have prom" Tyler said.

Before I could respond, he was walking back to his car. I could feel the shock on my face. I looked forward to see Alice, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper sliding into the Volvo. In the rear view mirror, Edward's eyes were on me. He was glaring with frustration and curiosity. I wanted desperately to ask him about the look he was giving me. To ask him why would he do this to me!

***********************************************

I tried to concentrate on making dinner, especially on slicing the chicken. I wanted every excuse to go to the emergency room, but not at Charlie's expense. I was analyzing everything Edward had said to me today. What did he mean, it was better if we weren't friends. My stomach twisted as I realized. This was because they didn't want me to find out there secret. It was obvious, thoughts of Carlisle had crowded my head and I couldn't think.

****************************************

"Bella? I've been meaning to talk to you" Charlie sighed.

I waited.

"here's the thing... I've never seen Dr Cullen act that way. You're not..." I glared at Charlie, "....you and Carlisle aren't..."

"no, no, Dad. I don't need this"

"I am your father. I have these responsibilities. I was just wondering .... whether.... you'd want to talk about this"

"no!"

* * *

Next morning when I pulled into the parking lot, I deliberately parked as far away from the silver volvo as possible. I didn't want to be laughed at today. Getting out of the truck, I fumbled with my keys and they fell into a puddle at my feet. As I bent to get it a white hand flashed out and grabbed it before I could. Edward Cullen was standing next to me, leaning casually on my truck.

"how do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Appear out of thin air!"

"Bella, it's not my fault if you're exceptionally unobservant" His voice was a velvet muted murmur.

I scowled at him, noticing his eyes were light today, a golden honey color.

"What are you always laughing at?" His lips pressed together in a tight line.

"I can't tell you, Bella. I'm sorry"

I made a gagging sound. "Are you okay, Bella?"

"I know your family aren't normal, I won't tell anybody" I pressed pathetically - unable to say much else as the pain gripped my rib cage. Edward's faced twisted in pity. He didn't say anything.

I turned back and started to walk away.

"wait" Edward called.

"Why won't you just leave me alone, stop laughing at me. What's so funny?"

He stared blankly and started again.

"I wanted to ask you something. I was wondering if, a week from Saturday – you know the day of the Spring dance - "

"what are you doing?! I thought we weren't supposed to be friends"

"please allow me to finish. I heard you were going to Seattle and I was wondering did you want a ride"

"what is your problem, Edward?" He ignored that question.

"well, I was planning to go to Seattle soon anyway, and, honestly, I'm not sure whether your truck can make it"

"my trucks fine"

"can your truck make it on one tank of gas?" he said pressing his lips into a tight line of anger.

"I don't see how it's any of your business"

"the wasting of finite resources is everyones business"

"I thought you didn't want to be my friend"

"I said that I wasn't allowed to be close to you, not that I didn't have to be"

"What?"

"I wish I could stay away from you, but that would only bring you closer - with your balance issues"


	6. Saved by the blood

The morning passed in a blur. I was thinking and writing down possible meanings behind Edwards words yesterday through class. I thought it - he could be making sure I didn't make a trip to the ER. Or making sure his secret was safe with me _not _being here for Spring dance - or not being near Carlisle. Maybe Carlisle was weak, vunerable - I was sure the way he was after the almost accident was all an act though. Maybe he had a weird pleasure in dangling himself in front of me that was dangerously close to revealing his secret. Incubus? None of them seemed sensual enough - or maybe he had said "she's mine - none of you are to seduce her" to the other Cullens. But .... nothing was supporting that - there was no way any of them could be that way - It was something else.

I got very angry all of a sudden.

I wanted to look over at the Cullens and see them frowning and unlaughing at me. I looked over at their table in the cafeteria. Edward wasn't there - but something else shocking. Alice stared at me, her eyes very distant, a mischeivous smile spread across her face. I looked away. The others seemed frustrated.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you again... I wonder why he's sitting alone today?"

I followed her gaze to see Edward smiling crookedly from an empty table away from where he usually sat. He motioned for me to join him.

When I reached his table, I stood behind the chair across from him, unsure. "I wanted to explain myself a little better"

"well, I decided as long as I had to stick with you in Seattle and disobey my father I may as well tell you why – so you aren't constantly badgering me with it" He said smoothly.

I nodded, unsure of his apparent surrender.

"My father Carlisle, said he didn't want me to get close to you, Bella – But if I stay away from you, honestly, you can attract trouble in the safest of places, and you'll be admitted into hospital where you will see my father anyway" I tried to comprehend all this. How did he know about my clumsiness. I couldn't think of anything to say.

It struck me, Carlisle didn't want me near him.

I struggled to hold back tears, but they spilt over my lids and down my cheeks, embarrassing me. The only thing that made me feel whole - didn't want me. I shrugged my hair over my shoulders and tried to cover my tears. I shut out the future that dawned without Carlisle.

"He doesn't want you close to us beacause of the reasons that you think"

I could do nothing but sob. "Carlisle" I heard in a high urgent trill. I looked at Alice, who stood talking on the phone. Edward stared at Alice and loped over to her. Alice continued to mumur into her mobile, her lips blurring as they moved. She then hung up. I wondered what _urgent_ reason had brought the Cullens to call their father at school. And why would he come any where near me.

Something was different now, the hole in me seemed to be healing as I cried for the loss of Carlisle.

I was overfilled with joy at finding that I was finally getting over this pain. I felt more complete, not the pain in my chest and the depression of being so lonely. The minutes passed. Ai had torn my eyes away from the Cullen's confiding urgently. I looked down at my hands - crying. With the passing minutes - I was healing. 10 minutes had passed and I was complete.

Now - I was _ecstatic_... Until, I smelt the memorised comfortable scent of fresh forest and books by a hearth - did I realise that I hadn't gotten over depression and lonliness... Carlisle was coming.

My blood was pulsing excitedly - gushing.

My heart fluttered in my chest. I was suddenly befuddled as the scent went straight to my head. All I could think and smell were Carlisle. I fought against the knowledge that Dr. Cullen was in the room. My stomach churned and cold air found it's way under my T-shirt. To my distraught horror my body was not under my full control. I was crying. My chest was beginning to perk up. I flushed at remembering the unbelievably hard to perfect feeling of Carlisle's touch.

That did it. I crossed my hand over my chest as I felt eyes settle on me.

The cold burn, was all over my face. His eyes burnt mine. He searched and worried over the falling tears. He realised – and shifted uncomforatbly. I looked up over at the cullens table with my face burning red and plump. Dr Cullen had sat down. I felt another two tears drop and another brimmed. My hands had dropped from my chest as I realised his proximity to me. His eyes were broken and pity struck, again. He then shifted his gaze, his eyes then washed with what must be distraction as his eyes shifted over my chest. He was taking all of the physical syptoms of trauma - like a good doc should.... Or a sadistic freak. The cullens were already chuckling quietly behind him, but it was hard to concentrate on the sound. His eyes found mine again. Edward tapped his father and said something in a low voice. Carlisle looked up, eyes fresh with shame and said something very quiet.

The bell ringed. I quickly got up, too fast, stumbled, I fell. I got up red-faced and almost ran out the door.

**************************************

Lucklily, Mr Banner was there when I arrived. I settled quickly in my seat, aware of both Mike and Angela staring, Mike was grinning and laughing; Angela was shocked. I didn't have the concentration to care much – the distracting scent of Carlisle had not left the school grounds. I hadn't noticed how much the scent relaxed me. Besides the tention I could feel coming from the hall I was totally relaxed. It made me think how close was he? He was _very_ close though. Mr Banner stood then, calling the class to order. He was juggling a few small cardboard boxes in his arms. He put them down on Mikes's table, telling him to pass them round. Mr Banner started the instructions. Blood tests. Oh no. Clammy moisture broke out on my forehead. "Put a drop on each of the prongs the teacher demonstrated, squeezing Mikes finger until the blood flowed. I swallowed convusively, my stomach flipping and heaving. He continued, showing the class as I tried to hear through the ringing in my ears. I put my cheek against the cool blacktable top and tried to hold onto my consciousness. "Bella are you alright?" Mr Banner said alarmed.

"I already know my blood type"

"Are you feeling faint?"

The tension increased but my unease subsided as the smell of Carlisle filled the room.

"yes, sir"

"can someone take Bella to the nurse please?" he called.

"can you walk?" Mr Banner asked.

"yes".

"Is everything ok in here?" Dr Cullen asked with his appealing voice. My heart skipped beats. I felt his eyes burning me instantly. " I'll take Bella if I may ". Dr Cullen put his freezing arm around me and lead me out of the biology room. He towed me without effort across campus, not stopping. He kept his chest closely fitted to me side. He hardly took his eyes off me. I forced myself not to look at him. But that feat could only last so long.

"Just let me sit down for a minute" He looked down at me worriedly. Dr Cullen didn't respond, he eased me up into his bewilderingly strong arms and carried me as easily as if I weighed ten pounds instead of 110. My breathing hitched, my blood thundered around my body (more than before - even though I wasn't sure it was possible), it felt red and swolen. His touch felt like electricity that jolted through me. A constant wave of peace and pleasure washed through me. My heart never stopped hesitating and suddenly gushing. He looked worried - like something was life or death - very serious. "Bella?" He looked really alarmed. I moaned roughly - but soft. Dr Cullen was in utter anxiety - that scared me. "Put me back on the sidewalk" I moaned. Dr Cullens scent and rocking movements weren't helping. He held me away from his body, supporting all my weight on just his arms – he didn't even strain against my weight. "Is this more comfortable for you in your faint condition?"he asked. I attempted a scowl. He gave a good-hearted smile and changed the subject."Do you faint at the sight of blood?" Dr Cullens voice caring, and full of sadness. He di very well in hiding the complete and inexplicable pain and horror that was underlying his voice. I fought the nausea and confusion with all my strength. It was suddenly warm. I opened my eyes. I was in the office.

"Dr Cullen?" Miss Cope asked wide-eyed. Carlisle smiled angelically and approached her desk.

"You must excuse me from interrupting your calls, but Bella is in a faint condition. As a doctor I think it is best if she rests at home for the remainder of the day. I was wondering whether you could call her father?" Dr Cullen said in a husky tone.

"Certainly Dr Cullen..."

"I'll have her home safely for Charlie's return"

*****************************************

"What were you doing in the cafeteria?"

"I had to speak with Alice about a very important issue" Dr Cullen said.

"... Alice knew I was going to get sick" He sighed, closing his eyes for a minute.

"What are your theories?"

"You and your family follow the Wiccan religion?" Dr Cullen shook his head smiling, "voodoo priests?" He chuckled. "Pagan Gods of mischeif?" He laughed outright. "uh... radioactive spiders? ..... I'll figure it out eventually" He looked wary but he smiled. "Just out of curiousity... which one of my guesses is closest?"

He chuckled huskily. "Umm, the warlocks are closest. You couldn't begin understand, and I don't expect you to. Please refrain from your curiousity". I ignored the suggestion. It felt like forever until I said it:

"A couple of friends are going to the beach .... come"

Dr Cullen looked surprised, he smiled sweetly. "I don't think your friends will react well"

"so?". He sighed again.

"which beach?"

"the first in La Push"

"I won't get you into any more trouble than I have. I should have waited for Charlie to pick you up. I didn't have his consent. That was wrong of me". He looked at me apologetically. We waited along time before anybody spoke. He spoke first. "What is your mother like?"

"like me, but a lot prettier. She's more outgoing and braver. She irresponsible and slightly eccentric. She's my best friend". Dr Cullen noticed talking about her made me depressed, he rubbed my shoulder like the last time sending spasms through me.

"how old are you Bella?"

"I'm seventeen... I don't seem seventeen" I laughed.

"What is it Bella?" Dr Cullen asked sensitively.

"My mother always said I was born 35 and I get more middle aged every year" I laughed.

"So why did your mother marry Phil"

"who told you that? ... My mother.... she's very young for her age. I think Phil makes her feel even younger. At any rate, she's crazy about him"

"Do you approve?"

"Does it matter? I want her to be happy... and he is all she wants"

"thats very considerate of you" he said slowly with an accompanying look of admiration. "Would she extend the same courtesy to you? No matter who you choose?" He sounded like he was guarding his intent.

"I – I think so. But it's a little different, she's the parent afterall" He chuckled, guiltily.

"no one too old?" he tried to tease. I smiled. He abruptly changed the subject after he shook his head. "Do you think we're scary?"

"_They _can be" He smiled sourly.

"Are you frightened of me now?"

"I'm not afraid of you, I'm only afriad of you leaving". I instantly changed the subject from embarrassment. "so, tell me about your family"

"Can I trust you?"

"of course" I murmured, dazed.

"My children are all adopted from different parents" I began piecing things together automatically.

"oh, why did you tell every one that they are related?" I coolly replied.

"for appearances Bella"

The car had been stopped in front of the house for some time and he had walked me to my doorstep.

"well, Bella... Have fun at the beach with the other kids"

"I'm onto you" I blurted and he chuckled, holding a finger to his mouth adorably. I edged a little closer to Carlisle. "Dr Cullen .... forgive me" I sputtered.

I leaned upwards and pressed my lips against Carlisle's cheek. My lips formed into an angry welt. My body trembled uncontrollably as the blood roared through my body. I softly held his face in my blistering hands. He stared at me bewildered. I waited, staring into his hazy dark gold eyes. His eyes were passionate but burned with pity and alarm. My stomach muscles tightened. I wanted his touch again, with such magnitude. I kissed his other cheek. His cold skin made my lips tingle and burn sweetly. I led a trail of kisses from his left cheekbone to his jaw and down his neck. I reached the hollow of his throat and I partially opened my mouth to suck at the soft skin. My hands had traveled down to his button up shirt. I pulled at the first button of his shirt.

I didn't want to be lonely any more.

I successfully unbuttoned the first two buttons. His shaky hands caught mine.

"go inside Bella" he told me firmly. I opened the door and walked inside. I turned. "I'm sorry Dr Cullen. I'll make it up to you... Do you want some... coffee"

He walked through the doorway and I shut the door behind him. "Bella, I could have just got you in serious trouble. I am married – I tho"

"so everyone says... Your children aren't yours or aren't even remotely related. She could just be your wife for appearances sake" I had struck a nerve, his mouth dropped only slightly and his eyes widened. "Is she?"

He shook his head, emphatically. "no. no she is not my wife"

"how old are you?"

"28"

I smiled. I walked over to him and held his face softly again in my hands sending shivers and excited blood all through my body. I walked him backwards into the lounge room. He looked _too_ shocked and _too_ scared to do anything but comply. I sat down next to him on the lounge. I kissed his nose. His hands defended himself - pushing me back ever so lightly. "are you feeling okay?" I attempted a scowl, "i'm going to take you to the hospital, ok?" I said nothing. He analysed my face for long minutes. I heard him breath deeply. He lay down holding his head, righting himself, saying that he shouldn't repeatedly. I lay beside my worried doctor.

"How lonely have you been Bella?" he said in a perfectly tortured voice.

"...It hurts..." was all I could manage to stutter out before burying my face in his neck. Dr Cullen held me for two minutes. And I sighed. "I have to go – You don't want to be caught kissing me" I nodded and buried my face in the cushion he had left behind.

Again I was torn apart by Dr Carlisle Cullen. I knew I would be analysing _everything_ - was it possible that he was that _brilliant _an actor or was he generally worried - no - then that would have torn apart every theory of spell or witchcraft out - and that would mean that I loved him... and that he loved me.


	7. Charlie Listens to the Neighbours!

"So what did Edward Cullen want yesterday?" Jessica queried.

"he offered me to carpool with him to Seattle"

"you cried!" She exclaimed - proving the impossibility of a normal conversation. I gave her a pointed look. Then she snorted. "Did it have anything to do with - "

"I was upset because Edward won't leave me alone" I replied icily. She looked awkward and then she let it go."You know, I've never seen him sit with anyone but his family before. Or Dr Cullen come to school"

"weird" I agreed.

* * *

That night at dinner, Charlie seemed odd. He looked at me uncomfortably. We sat down for dinner. "Bella" I looked up wondering what it was this time. "Has Dr Cullen came around latley?"

"Umm, I fainted at school, He drove me home" I said trying to sound casual.

"The neighbours, urgh, said they saw you and Dr Cullen acting inappropriatly. Care to explain."

I looked up, indecided on giving up and confessing. He sighed, seeing my innocent look. I suppose the only reason Chralie wasn't going off was because, he hadn't seen me this happy in a long time. "Come on Bells, put an old man out of his misery" He sighed again as I examined my hands.

"How long did Dr Cullen stay?" He tried a new tactic of exposure.

"5 minutes – He helped me upstairs Dad" I said reassuringly.

"Bella – Dr Cullen is a happily married man. Why don't you fancy any of the boys your age?"

"I – didn't do anything"

"Bella!" My luck wasn't obviously lasting.

"It was a kiss on the cheek!"

"The neighbours saw _several _... kisses. Bella - I have people worried about you. I'm worried that you're gettin' involved with a married man" I gave him a very defiant look. We didn't speak for a while as he calmed himself. After a few minutes and a sigh.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He tried gruffly.

"He dropped me off, I kissed him on the cheek, he walked me upstairs" I said fanatically.

"the neighbours say different" Charlie said shortly to his dinner plate.

"... I... Dad ..."

"Were you or were you not behaving inappropriatley with Dr Cullen?"

I opened and shut my mouth three times before I could even think of one excuse that Charlie would believe. I left it hanging, he sighed. " I called your mother" I glared at him for a long time, "I'm taking you down to Dr Cullen to apolgize" I opened and shut my mouth twice.

He got his keys.

**********************************

"Good evening Mrs Cullen" This must be Esme, the adoptive mother and apparent wife of Dr Cullen. She smiled half-heartedly, shyly. Esme had a heart-shaped face framed by caramel curls. She was small, slender, yet less angular. She nodded to Charlie.

"Bella, It's nice to meet you, finally" she pointedly looked back at Carlisle, who was sitting on the lounge with the TV off.

"Hey, Bella" Alice called enthusiastically. Every one seemed to know me. Jasper followed Alice cautiously. "Hello" he said in a small and restrained voice while he kept his distance. "Hello Jasper". I walked through the doorway with stiff Charlie.

Charlie nudged me. I sighed.

"I'm sorry Dr Cullen. The neighbours saw me being – inappropriate... Is there anything - I can do to make it up to you?" His smile faltered into a concerned gaze. He shook his head to clear it and looked at Charlie.

"Can I talk to you for a moment chief Swan?" Carlisle looked at Charlie with shame written on his face.

Charlie and Dr Cullen ascended the stair way.

I turned to Esme. "I'm sorry – If you have any feelings for him – I – I'm so sorry" I said hesitantly. She smiled warmly, a little shy.

"It's alright Bella" She led me to the lounge and we both sat down, comforatbly. "Will they ever tell me their secret?" Esme almost grinned – like the rest of them. I heard laughs from upstairs. Esme seemed smug from the moment she saw me on the doorstep. Since, I'll find out anyway, I dropped the 'what are you' question. I heard footsteps, Charlie and Carlisle came down the stairs. Charlie was pale and wide-eyed. "Esme, your not married – or – or attracted to Dr Cullen" he went over the recent information, "why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I've always wanted children, so we became a proper family. We wanted the children to grow up with parents" He nodded, swallowing.

"Bella – let's go" Charlie was flailing – he didn't know how to handle this much shock. Esme walked over to comfort Charlie, she offered him a seat in the dining room offered him a seat.

Carlisle squeezed my shoulder. "I told him my real age" He said almost inaudibly. I nodded. Charlie could not be contained - he sat in the dining room just until he saw Carlisle walk over to me.

Charlie explained that we must go – he had a big day tomorrow – and he almost stumbled out the door. I noticed Rosalie, Emmett and Edward at the top of the stairs. Carlisle walked me to the door. I kissed him audibly. I turned to see Charlie's outrage face turn purple.


	8. Vampires?

(Set after Jacob tells the Quileute legends to Bella.)

I turned on my computer. I typed in one single word _vampire. _It took an infuriatingly long time, eventually I found a promising site. Vampires A-Z. Only 3 entries really caught my attention: the Romanian _Veracolaci_, a powerful undead being who could appear as beautiful, pale-skinned human, the Slovak _Nelapsi_, a creature so strong it could massacre an entire village in a single hour after midnight, and the other, The_ Stregoni Benefici_.

About this last there was only a brief sentence.

_Stregoni Benefici: An Italian vampire, said to be on the side of goodness, and a mortal enemy to all evil vampires._

It was a relief, one small entry, one myth among hundreds that claimed the existence of good vampires_._ Overall though, there was little that coincided with Jacobs stories or my own observations. There were few myths that matched even one factor of the mental catalogue of Jacobs _cold ones _and mine.

**********************************

Here in the trees it was much easier to believe the absurdities that embarrassed me indoors. Nothing had changed in the forest for thousands of years, and all the myths and legends of many different lands that filled my head seemed much more likely in this green haze then they had in my clear-cut bedroom.

I forced myself to focus on the 2 most vital questions I had to answer, but I did so unwillingly, despite the past weeks of lonesomeness and determination.

First, I had to decide if it was possible that what Jacob said about the Cullens could be true. Immediately, my mind reacted with the reaction that something was missing. I listed again in my head the things I had observed myself; the impossible strength and speed, the eye colour shifting from black to gold and back, the inhuman beauty, the cold pale skin. And more – other things had registered, the disturbing grace in which they moved. And the way in which they spoke, especially Carlisle and Edward, with unfamiliar cadences and phrases that better fit the style of turn-of-the-century novel rather than that of a twenty-first century class room. Edward had skipped class during blood typing. They seemed to know what was going to happen before I did. Edward seemed to know what every one else was hadn't denied my guesses as crazy....

my guesses were that they were villain and dangerous ... maybe I was right.

Could the Cullens be vampires?

If Carlisle was a vampire – there was nothing I could do. I'm afraid of losing him... whatever he is. I don't know how Carlisle Cullen can do those things to me but his – his voice, his eyes, and magnetic personality, I want nothing more than to spend a whole life with him, my life. Even if he was a vampire ... I wouldn't tell anybody.


	9. Exposed

"Bella!" I heard someone call, it sounded like Mike. I looked around to realise the school had become populated, while I had been thinking. Every one was in a talkative frenzy – glancing at me every now and then. "so, you and Dr Cullen hah... I don't like it" Mike said. Jessica almost ran over gushing before she even stopped. "Dr Cullen is twenty eight?" she said airily. I nodded. "Is he a good kisser?". I opened and shut my mouth again.

"he's – I only kissed him on the cheek".

"I always knew he was too good to be true" Jessica said smiling.

"yeah" Mike agreed.

* * *

I checked my email. I had emails from Renee. Charlie said he'd had no choice but to call Renee and tell her about Carlisle. The emails had started off angry and incredulous – then subsided to cautious. I sighed and typed a relatively quick response to her paragraphs.

Mom,

Sorry. Dr Cullen is good doctor, caring. He told me to stop Mom. Everyone's been talking about Dr Cullen and me all day. That is punishment enough without the abusive emails. Dad, doesn't know what to do. He hasn't forbidden me from seeing Dr Cullen though. I went to apologize to him and his wife Esme. Esme is very caring and seems almost happy about it all. I know his kids are my age. But... I don't care.

It was sunny today – I know – I'm shocked. So I am going outside to soak up as much vitamin D as I can. I love you.

Bella


	10. Tortured Love

PORT ANGELES

"there you are!" The booming voice of the stocky dark haired man shattered the intense quiet and made me jump. In the gathering darkness it looked like he was looking passed me. "yeah" another voice said, making me jump again as I tried to hurry down the street. "We just took a little detour". My steps had to slow now, I was closing the distance between me and the lounging pair too fast. I had a good loud scream, I sucked in air, preparing to use it, my throat was so dry I didn't know how much volume I could manage. With a quick movement I slipped my purse over my head, gripping the strap with one hand, ready to surrender it or use as a weapon as need demanded.A thickset man shrugged away from the wall as I warily came to a stop, and walked slowly into the street. "stay away from me" I said in a voice that was supposed to be strong and fearless. I knew Dr Cullen was close, I felt whole this afternoon. "Don't be like that, sugar" he called, the raucous laughter started again from behind me. I braced myself, feet apart, trying to remember what little self-defense I knew. Heel of the hand thrust forward, hopefully breaking nose. Finger through the eye socket – try to hook round and pop eye out. And the standard knee to groin, of course. I fought with the pessimistic voice that told me that I didn't stand a chance against _one _of them and that Carlisle wouldn't save me.

Headlights suddenly flew around the corner, the car almost hitting the stocky one, forcing him to jump back toward the sidewalk. I realised I had seen this car at least 3 times in one day. The car fishtailed around me, to stop with the passenger door open just a few feet from me. "Bella, get in" a husky voice filled with trauma pleaded. It was amazing how instantaneously the choking fear vanished, amazing how security suddenly washed over me - even before I was off the street – as soon as I'd heard and smelled Dr Cullen. I jumped into the seat, slamming the door shut behind me. It was dark in the car, no light had turned on with the opening of the door.

"Put on your seatbelt, Bella" Carlisle said. I smiled – I was whole again. I studied the double-backing Carlisle, who was glancing at me every minute. His face was twisted in worry. "Are you alright?" I asked Carlisle.

"no, I should have never left you alone, knowing what I knew"

"hugh?"

"I should be with you at all times if you get into trouble so often. I'm so sorry. Even now, protecting you – will get you in trouble with Charlie" I stared unable to speak. "How was your time at First Beach, Bella?"

"confusing" I said quickly. He looked at me, perplexed. "I - I'll explain later"

Carlisle parallel parked against the curb in a space that I thought was too small for his black Mercedes, although he slid in effortlessly with one try. I looked out the wall to see the lights of La Bella Italia, and Jess and Angela just leaving, pacing anxiously away from us.

"how did you know where...?" I began, but then I shook my head, clearing it. He opened his door. "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking you to dinner" he smiled as he opened my door for me, "Miss Stanley, Miss Weber!" Dr Cullen called to my friends. They saw me, and rushed over. Angela and Jess's glances flickered from me to Carlisle, smiling next to me. "Where have you been?"Jessica's voice was suspicious.

"I got lost" I admitted sheepishly. "and then I ran into Carlisle" I gestured toward him, he looked at me and smiled sweetly. We held gaze for a couple of seconds. I teared my gaze away to look at my friends who were standing there awkwardly. "I hoped it would be alright if I joined you?" Carlisle tried lightly.

"er... sure" Jessica replied quietly.

"umm, actually Bella, we already ate while we were waiting – sorry"

"that's just fine" Carlisle reassured, leaning slightly forward pursing his lips for one blissful moment, "I'm taking Bella to dinner. I'm she is just starving. You don't have to wait for us, I will drive Bella home in my Mercedes. If you girls don't mind parting with your friend". Jess opened her mouth and then just nodded awkwardly. "okay, see you tomorrow Bella... Dr Cullen" Angela inclined her head. They walked away whispering to each other. "Is this a date?" I asked stupidly.

"It is nothing else but trouble for you Bella". He smiled and took my hand in his cold, silken-skinned one and led me up the stairs.

**********************************

She led us to a table big enough for four in the center of the most crowded dining area. I was about to sit down, Carlisle held my arm. " I would like Bella and I to sit somewhere more private if that's possible" Carlisle said smiling lightly. I'd never seen anyone refuse a table, accept in the old movies. She turned and led us around a partition to a small ring of booths. Our server arrived, "What can I offer you to drink?"

"I'll have a coke" I said.

"make that two" Carlisle agreed. Carlisle glanced up and smiled politely just long enough to not seem rude. He was frowning.

"What?"

"Are you alright? How have you been... I know the worries that fatherhood can cause. Charlie is just trying to protect you"

"He's too awkward to say anything. I'm an adult now, he can't tell me who to date. I mean I normally wouldn't have gone for an... older guy, but – this – is - inevitable" I said in a strained frequently-pausing voice.

Carlisle stared for a few moments, eyes slightly wider than usual.

"I'm sure he's just looking for a way to tell you how he feels about this"

"hey, but, what does your family – think – about me?" I asked, sullen.

"Esme is ecstatic, she just wants to see me happy. Esme doesn't care that you're too young" he added quietly. "She's been worried about me – a lot. I haven't dated in a while... The others laugh at me and you because they think it's funny that the eldest in the family has a younger crush. They're very excited that someone actually has confronted me in regards to their feelings. However young" he said in his husky matter-of-factly voice. I frowned and shook my head.

"but... you did this to me – didn't you know – how? - this doesn't make any sense"I stammered on underneath my breath. Carlisle stared, his brows furrowing slightly. I shivered.

"are you cold?"

"it's just the coke" Carlisle shrugged out of his jacket and put it around me, kissing my forehead sensitively.

"so Isabella" he used an oddly professional tone, "what made you come to Port Angeles?"

" I needed to check out a bookstore... what were you doing here?"

"I was protecting you Bella. Edward says only you could get into trouble in a town so small.... ..... I agree, only a person so innocent could attract such danger"

"How did you know I was in trouble? – Alice?" he fell silent, "you can trust me, you know"

"you're onto me – as you said. And you're way more observant than Edward had told me. I _can't _tell you. It would kill you, Bella. I will not be responsible for such an innocents death". I deliberated – the notion that he could only attack someone who knew he was a vampire was impossible. This was just an attempt to scare me off saying anything. We were silent for a long time.

"My children are ... gifted" I pressed him for more with my gaze. "Alice helped me to find you – she sees things that may occur in the future"

"so – is she - a witch?" he laughed, looking down at his plate.

"no, she just has a gift" I stared awkwardly at his coke.

"and Edward? Is he - gifted?" I asked trying to sound casual.

"Edward – has a very special gift. It allows him to hear the voices spoken in peoples minds..." I was silenced, completely.

"Bella.... Do you want me to take you home? Are you okay?" I took long moments for me to recover. He reached forward with his hands but restrained from touching my hands.

"will you just tell me what you are? I'll find out eventually" He looked at me wearily.

"Bella, It's best if you stay away from me. I will always protect you. Edward tells me that if there is anything in a ten-mile radius, it will invariably find you" He said in an oddly positive tone.

"It doesn't matter what you are, to me, Carlisle"

****************************************

"Carlisle" I said harshly. Carlisle almost swerved as he looked at me abruptly. I tried to compose my face that was twisted in anger. "If I'm such a danger magnet... There's no point in trying to stay away from me. I'll just hurt myself again and meet you at the hospital". He looked at me halfway in between wary and sad.

"I'm not going to try. I'm giving up. I don't – want, to break your heart Bella.I can't be with you, but I'll be beside you, until you move on". I looked at him, not sure how to react. I swallowed hard, he heard and stared. I wondered what my face looked like, because his wary face now was replaced with endless concern. After two silent minutes and continuous worried glances, I spoke.

"I know what you are"

He just stared, wide-eyed. I couldn't look at his face and see his caring eyes at this moment.

"Go ahead" he encouraged after he sighed quietly.

"Vampire" I said quietly. I looked at his pale face. His deep brown eyes like globes. "Bella..." Carlisle choked out. "I'm not afraid of you...." I said angry and in a strained tone, "I'm only afraid of what I'm going to feel if you leave me". I looked at him softly. He sighed, relieved. He pulled over on the side of the rode.

"My family and I are different from other vampires, we take only the blood of animals"

" I wouldn't care – if you did – you won't hurt me" Carlisle sighed again and shook his head. I undid my seatbelt and leant over to kiss his forehead as softly as he had kissed mine. I tried to press my lips to Carlisle's, he placed his fingers in between our lips. "your heart beat is too fast... are you okay?" I moved his fingers and pressed my lips to his. My lips burned with the freezing cold, my blood burned through every vein, my stomach did summersaults and the hole in my chest died and I no longer missed the part of me which Carlisle had taken away from me. I pulled away, only to kiss him again as I moved to kneel on his seat. I sucked at his juicy, burning lips and was delivered a concentrated shot of Carlisle. I leaned away after. His face was still worried and twisted in pity. "ah, I suppose... just out of curiousity... how can you come out in the sunlight?"

"We don't burst out in flames. That's a myth"

"ah, sleeping in coffins?"he sighed, "vampires don't sleep at all Bella" after a minute he sighed and said, "Bella, you really don't care about this? Do you want me to go away? Are your afraid?". My brows knitted together and traitor tears had brimmed and fell down my cheeks. Thinking about being in the darkness without Carlisle and that ripping gaping hole that was left behind. He softly wiped the tears away from my eyes. "Bella" he whispered.

After I composed myself. "hey, what does your family think about us being together?"

"they think a relationship would be... healthy, for me"

"ur, you haven't been in a relationship in a while?" I said slowly and groggily.

"no, they think I should take pity on the lonely teenager. I don't think it's right... I feel I am taking advantage of your youth" Carlisle said shaking his head with a contorted expression.

he started the car and drove on. I stared at him, half-scowling and half in awe of his beauty. We arrived at Charlies house in silence. I opened the door ready to give the cold shoulder to what I'd gathered sensitive doctor. I opened the car door. "Bella" he tugged my hand softly, it sent a wave of crushing anxiety for whence I would return to a an incomplete world without Carlisle, "will you be okay tonight?" I didn't say anything, I refrained from wrapping my arms around myself and crying. "I want to know whether you'll be safe tonight"

I looked at Carlisle, traitor tears brimming in my eyes "it hurts me to be away from you" I turned my head shakily and forced myself out the car. Before I could take a step Carlisle was in front of me. "this is wrong. I won't take your life. You have to forget me, I'm sure you'll move on and be in love, with someone human" and... in no way was a prepared for this talk. Those traitorous tears escaped and more came and streamed down my face. "no" an air of panic and absolute desperation settled heavily upon me. A hysterical kind. "no, why, what are you, no! No, I can't, how could, no, no" I stuttered in between shaking my head in absolute desperation. "you can't leave me, we can't be apart" I didn't hear him but he had been softly hushing me all this time and he had walked right up to me – a foot away from touching. "It's one thing for a teenager to be lonely, but another thing entirely for a them to go through _this ... _this is affecting your mental health"

"Carlisle...... I can't live without you" I said softly, trying once more to shake off the desperation. I started crying again, I tried to be quiet, futilely, "I _- _I'm sorry" I wailed. His eyes widened and then softened.

"My life is dangerous, Bella. I don't want that life for you. You don't want to go through all that pain, Bella"

"I don't care what you are, I have to be with you." His eyes widened again. He shut his eyes after a few moments and sighed. "will you be okay for tonight?"

I shook my head and ran inside, begging that he wouldn't follow me.

*************************************

"Bella?" charlie called, "did you girls have fun?"

"Yeah - "

"who's car was it that I heard Bella?" he said taking the feeling of a fatherly threat, "you're home too early"

"ah", I opened and closed my mouth, "I ran into Carlisle – he drove me home". Charlie sighed heavily.

"why don't you like one of the boys in town? Why _him?" _

I opened and closed my mouth. My head was spinning and breath came short. I had to be quick I knew what was to come. "Dad, I'm an adult now"

"he's ten years _older_ than you Bella"

"I know. But I can't choose – who I like" I said trying on the whole relationship talk with Charlie. He shook his head. He stared at me for a while. "are you all right?" he sounded concerned. Charlies eyes bulged slightly and his face went red after he looked me over. "bella, here's the thing. With an older man – they might want . before your ready. I just want you to know that you don't have to do anything that you don't want to. If he forces you" I stared at him, I wondered what my face looked like.

I just stared at him till he shifted uncomfortably in the hallway. I siddled around him and got the phone, leaving him to stare after me.

All the physical affects of my loneliness had returned. I clutched my chest and tried my best not to wince. I wondered again – what my face must have looked like, because Charlie was still standing – frozen in the hall. The tears brimmed over and my head was thick with the painful words Carlisle had said – I didnt' know why he said the things he had. It went through my mind that I was just a pesky teenager to him – or just something he could take advantage of, vampires in the legends were also said to be very sensual. I shook the thoughts away and decided to call Jessica. I needed my jacket back for tomorrow if I was going to go through another cold and empty day without Carlisle Cullen. My dad sat down on the opposite side of the table trying to calm himself.

"hello?" I asked breathlessly.

"Bella?"

"hey Jess. I left my jacket in your car – could you bring it to me tomorrow?"

"sure. But what happened with you and Dr Cullen? He's not like a – sleazy old guy – is he?"

"no – he – he doesn't want to be with me. I. Can't say I blame him. For it. I mean – I am as old as his son" I said.

"oh..... ........ I guess I'll see you tomorrow Bella"

"bye"

"Bella – did he hurt you?"

"dad – just"

I walked upstairs slower that I wanted to, a different side effect began to stir me and I groaned inwardly. A heavy stupor was clouding my mind. I went through all the motions of getting ready for bed without paying any attention to him. It wasn't until I was in the shower till I realised that I had the prolonging cold burns Carlisle's touch had given me – burnt into my skin – smoldering. The warm water did nothing to help the burn – when it was through the clothes it was nowhere near as bad – but the time my mouth and hands burned with all that was Carlisle.

I stumbled out, wrapping myself securely in a towel, trying to hold the heat in. I let myself go and sulked. My mind swirled dizzily, full of images I couldn't understand, and some I fought to repress.

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Dr Cullen was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him – and I didn't know how potent that part might be – that was a possible danger to my life. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Dr Carlisle Cullen.


	11. Mesmerised

Author's note: Previous to this i was not planning to continue this story, but I read over my work after some encouraging reviews (Thanks LanaLove93) and I am pleased to say i have prepared a good chapter for you all to read. I hope this will spark dwindles interests. I do apologize for any spelling mistakes I have made in the past, as it was a factor in my wanting to not continue.

I hope you all enjoy! Read and Review!

* * *

My head was whirling as it found the pillow and the hole ripped itself afresh. A harsh sob ripped its way out of my throat and in the depth of my own despair, its harshness surprised me. It didn't sound like me at all. I wondered what my face looked like as I cried uncontrollably. I wondered what Charlie would do if he heard me? Would he come up to my room if he did? What would I say if he did? That Carlisle had ripped his way into my life and left a hole that was unfillable? That I was lonely? That he said that we couldn't be together but he'd be by my side because I was some sad danger-magnet who couldn't be left alone?

Anger burst in m chest. I was clumsy, but I'll be damned if that was the only reason Carlisle would spend time with me. I couldn't bear to think that Carlisle would only go out with me because of pity and because seemingly I can't go out without falling over or attracting out-of-control cars or amorous rapists from Port Angeles.

And I would fill this hole with something – anything – else until I could prove to Carlisle that I was stable. Until I could prove that I was capable of looking after myself. Until I could prove I was mature enough to make a well-informed decision to go out with him. I would thank him for saving me and ask that we have some time apart for me to get my life into perspective.

Falling into some kind of resolve made me feel a little better about facing tomorrow. Tomorrow I would get my life back on track. Tomorrow I would be the Bella I was in Arizona, she had everything under control and she was happy in her sprawling sun-baked city – instead of this sodden moss-covered town. Tomorrow I would start on getting my grades up to scratch and my life out of this depressing and desperate rut. I would show Carlisle.

* * *

I woke up in the morning not really sure whether last night was real. I felt as depressed as ever. The hole inside me was as empty as ever. I forced my sluggish body out of bed, not really sure whether I should go to school as staying home and sulking seemed much more promising. Last night must have been real, I realized, as I saw that I didn't have my jacket. _Great! _I thought, as I remembered my timely resolution last night (it was timely as I had a biology test). I went downstairs and ate until it was impossible to feel empty, then I packed my bag with all of my books and loaded it into my big red truck as the dark and foggy air swirled around me. I knew that the dark weather mean the Cullen's would be at school and that I should stay in the library at lunchtime studying in order to avoid them.

I rolled to a stop as I reached the only florist that we have in this pitiful little town. I picked out the most serious and non-romantic looking flowers I could find – they were big orange daisies with clusters of small red flowers breaking up the vibrant orange – and took them to the counter. The plump woman behind the desk smiled at me as I paid her for the flowers and write in the little card attached to the bouquet.

I thanked the woman and left the florists, sighing, as I knew the next stop to be the hospital. The slow drive to the hospital was unforgivable short and as I parked I hoped fervently Carlisle wasn't available to see me as I dropped the flowers off. I walked into the hospital and straight up to the receptionist. I felt the pit of stomach drop somewhere between my knees and the ground in dread of Dr Cullen coming out and ruining my plans to concentrate on school and get my life back on track. "Hi," I said smiling politely to the receptionist, "I was wondering if you could give these flowers to Dr Cullen. Do you think you could leave these on his desk?"

But as I finished my last sentence and she begun to say that Dr Cullen was free that I saw him moving behind the frosted glass that separated the reception room from offices.

"No, it's ok. I have to get to school," I said quickly and practically threw the flowers at her as I turned, practically at a run. "Bella"

Damn it! Dr Cullen had reached the reception room. "Bella, wait!" called Dr Cullen, but I was out of the glass exit doors and walking speedily to the truck.

Dr Cullen sighed. He had to admit to himself that he was slightly disappointed. He had expected the teenager to want to talk to him after the way she had kissed him last night. Dr Cullen frowned, wondering what had changed and picking up the little note to read what she had written in pretty little hand-writing.

_Thank you for saving me._

_I don't want you to come looking for me. We need some time apart. I need to get my life back on track._

_Bella _

Dr Cullen frowned even harder. This was so unusual and strange for Bella to be so detached. This wasn't the love letter he had expected to get accompanying flowers. There was something strange to this letter. There was something more to this. It worried him immensely to think what Bella would do next. He would call Alice straight away.

* * *

I reached the library without any unfortunate events, set up a vast pile of books and began to study for the impending biology test but the bell rang for first period before I had really begun. I handed in my paper for English, wishing that I had already come to my resolution before I had to hand in my paper to Mr Mason. I passed English and government with my head down and, apparently, working far harder than usual because Mike stared at me confusedly and tried to make conversation I wasn't really listening to.

I hadn't anticipated Jessica to ambush me in trigonometry though. "Tell me everything!" she commanded. I shook my head, slightly confused from concentrating too hard, "about what?"

"About last night, silly! What happened?"

"We ate and then he drove me home"

Jessica glared at me. "Well, what do you want to know?" I said, slightly annoyed.

"Did you plan to meet him there? Was it a date?"

"No, I was really surprised to see Dr Cullen in Port Angeles at all. And no, it wasn't a date."

Jess looked disappointed and I tried to compose myself and not looked disappointed as well so I set my books for trig open. "What did you talk about? I mean he is an older man so…"

My brain scrabbled for something to say. We didn't really talk about much else besides us and vampires.

"I asked him about being a doctor," I said deciding to make it up as I went along.

Jess looked at me skeptically. I raised my eyebrows too, "I was just wondering whether it'd be easier to become a doctor in such a small town." Jess smirked at me, unconvinced.

"What?" I asked, "We really didn't talk about much. It was mostly an awkward drive home. Do you think it's because he's the strong silent type?"

This, luckily, both distracted and satisfied Jess' curiosity. "I don't know," she said. "Whenever my grandmother used to see him she would just say how good a doctor he is. She didn't really say much else. I know he's outdoorsy and really _really _smart and he likes classical music."

I nodded, putting my head down to write notes on everything Mr Varner said.

At lunchtime, instead of following Jess to the cafeteria I told her I was going to study for biology and headed straight to the library.

_Edward, have you seen Bella at all today? _thought Alice, sitting next to Edward.

"No, why?" he murmured, glancing over to where she usually sits. He frowned. She wasn't there, yet he was certain she would be here today.

_Carlisle called me this morning and said that she left flowers at reception for him this morning. She said something about them two needing time away from each other… something about getting her life back on track, _Alice explained.

Edward arched a brow slightly, almost imperceptibly, "So?"

_He's worried. You know what Carlisle is like. He's worried she'll do something stupid and hurt herself. He asked us if we could keep an eye out for her. _Alice's thoughts made her frown sadly. Jasper rubbed her arm softly feeling her shift in mood.

"Should I go look for her? Can't you just search the future for her?"

_Don't you think I already told him that Edward. I see nothing but her studying, nothing out of the ordinary, but he's not convinced. He thinks she is _so _fragile, even for a human. _

"Alright."

"Hey Bella," said Edward pulling a chair out from under another table and sitting directly and annoyingly straight in front of me. I glared at him, "what?"

Edward leaned in closer, his eyes were piercing and they made me blush to be stared at so intensely. "What?" I repeated.

"Tell me what you're thinking. I can't tell what you're thinking. You're immune somehow," said Edward, continuing to stare despite my blush.

"I'm not thinking anything Edward," I answered resolutely and stared back down at my biology textbook. Pale hands flashed in my line if vision and text book was gone. I sighed, "what do you want, Edward?"

Edward's eyes hardened, "Why did you send that message to Carlisle? He's worrying about you. He's worried you're going to do something stupid". He stared at me levelly in the eyes, as if he was trying to find out what I was thinking from staring into my eyes.

My eyes flashed, "I'm fine," I ground out between my teeth. Edward almost looked taken aback, but he smiled and it was strained and not as polite as it seemed.

"Listen," commanded Edward seriously, "Carlisle is like a father to me, I love him …" he stopped, unsure of how to explain, "My family is worried for our safety in this town. Ensure me that even if you're divorcing Carlisle from your life, as you have so easily done just done now, that you will not tell anybody of our secret," he finished gravely.

His seriousness and meddling further annoyed me, "I'm not divorcing him and I won't," I said shortly.

"Won't what?" Edward prodded.

"I won't tell anybody what you are," I assured, putting a hand on his, "and what do you care about my 'divorce'? why don't you want to get Esme and Carlisle together?"

Edward frowned, "I don't know whether Carlisle and Esme feel for eachother in that way, or at least, they haven't in a long time. Esme loves him, but she loves all of us like she loves him. I think, perhaps, over the passing years they touch less and play husband- and- wife less than they used to. As for your divorce, It's your choice, but I am not fully convinced of your decision..."

I stopped and looked up at Edward. He seemed to know exactly what I was trying to do. I straightened my face, hoping that I had not portrayed any of my weakness.

"What are you doing, Bella? Are you just trying to distract yourself from him?" said Edward slowly and slightly accusatorily.

"Shut up! I'm just trying to be the Bella I was before I came to Forks," I explained roughly. "Before I came to Forks I knew what I was doing, I had good grades and I never got into this much trouble… until I came here. I'm not the same anymore," I finished dubiously. "I'm just trying to get back what I was and show to Carlisle… that he doesn't have to look after me. I don't want him to have to look after me, I don't want to be his pity project."

Edward inclined his head slightly to the side, examining me with a humorous glint to his eyes.

"So you're working yourself silly to distract yourself?"

I just looked at him, my big brown eyes must have been globes and portrayed all the helplessness of the situation because he just said "you're in love with him," as if he had never thought of that before.

My biology test came around and I was staring at the test paper with not one in my mind. It appeared that had studied too hard and my brain refused to cooperate with me on the simplest of tasks because of a headache that was probably more of a brain tumor. I was surprised I had the mental where-withal to write my name on the test. I read through my answers once I was finished and was quite disappointed to see that I had perhaps only scraped a B+ instead of my usual C grade.

I walked out of biology feeling as terrible as I had when I walked in but somehow relieved that the test was over. I got into my silly red truck and drive without thinking. And it was without thinking that I drove directly into the car in front of me. My heart jumped and with that burst of adrenalin my head felt clearer, or clear enough to jump out of my truck and apologise to the owners of the car in front of me.

Why did it have to be the Cullens? Anyone but them! They had stopped in front of me as if their shiny new Volvo had stalled! The pixie-like Alice was looking back at me with alarm, her dark eyes not quite focused on me but something off in the distance. I could hear Edward hiss angrily from here. His jaw was stiff in anger as he got out of his shiny Volvo and walked over to me, menacingly slow, like a policemen about to ask if I knew how fast I was going. His eyes flashed as he reached me, "what do you think you're doing?" he spat in contempt.

I didn't answer and tried to escape his gaze and think about eh trigonometry test. He took another intimidating step closer to me and looked down with his hard amber stare. "Don't you think what you're doing isn't working?"

I felt tears brim in my eyes. His eyes didn't soften but he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, as if I was a thorough annoyance and side stepped me. He got into the driver seat of my truck and pulled me over the top off him to the passenger's seat. The engine roared and we were off at a speed faster than I thought my truck could obtain. "Where are we going?" I asked dumbly as I saw Alice and Rosalie arguing and watching Edward drive my truck by them. "Are you just going to leave your family there?"

Edward didn't answer. His jaw was set and he stared at the road angrily. "What did you think you were doing?" he fumed, I just stared at him once again as his features twisted in anger, "you can't go on like this… I'm taking you to Carlisle."

I glared in horror but before I could respond Edward's phone rang. He passed the phone to me eyeing the poliecar sitting opposite the school, "Will you get that?" he asked.

I answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"It's Alice. Tell Edward I had a vision. It's urgent. He can't take you to Car-"

I hung up. I had to see him.

* * *

I was walking through the hospitals reception room for the second time today, but this time Edward gripped my elbow and dragged me forward to the receptionist. Edward said a few quick words to the receptionist and we were quickly led behind the frosted glass to a small office. Dr Cullen walked in behind us.

"Edward," Carlisle said warmly, and then he looked at me in mild surprise, "what's going on?"

My eyes caught his and I was lost in his amber eyes. They drew me in and drowned me, seduced me. My head swam as I took in his eyes clouding over. Something in his eyes was changing. Something was not right. His eyes were clouding over in an emotion I could only quite adequately describe as hunger. His eyes had gone from amber yellow to burnt umber and then to obsidian. I don't know how much time in between passed as I was mesmerized by his swirling, darkening eyes but by the time they had did the change I realized something was definitely wrong. I barely had anytime to register his expression go limp and devoid of its usual softness, it took on an angular animalistic hunger that intrigued and frightened me, before he launched blindingly fast words me. For the next few seconds pain was all I knew as I was pinned against the wall and overwhelmed. Every inch of my body tensed and strained, braced against the wall as two fangs embedded into my throat and drew forth blood as easily as teeth sink into a soft, ripe peach. I heard a blood curdling scream and i realized it was my own. Whatever was on me abruptly lifted and I fell to the floor like a puppet cut free from its strings. I could hear Edward's horrified voice, "Carlisle. Carlisle! You need to do something!"


End file.
